Active links for all websites in this chapter can be found online. If mybcommlab is being used in your class, see your User Guide for instructions on accessing the content for this chapter. Otherwise, visit www.pearsonhighered.com/bovee, locate Business Communication Today, Tenth Edition, click the Companion Website link, select Chapter 8, and then click on “Featured Web-sites.” Please note that links to sites that become inactive after publication of the book will be removed from the Featured Websites section.
8.1 Revising Messages: Directness and Conciseness Revise the following short e-mail messages so that they are more direct and concise; develop a subject line for each revised message.
a. I’m contacting you about your recent e-mail request for technical support on your cable Internet service. Part of the problem we have in tech support is trying to figure out exactly what each customer’s specific problem is so that we can troubleshoot quickly and get you back in business as quickly as possible. You may have noticed that in the online support request form, there are a number of fields to enter your type of computer, operating system, memory, and so on. While you did tell us you were experiencing slow download speeds during certain times of the day, you didn’t tell us which times specifically, nor did you complete all the fields telling us about your computer. Please return to our support website and resubmit your request, being sure to provide all the necessary information; then we’ll be able to help you.
b. Thank you for contacting us about the difficulty you had collecting your luggage at Denver International Airport. We are very sorry for the inconvenience this has caused you. As you know, traveling can create problems of this sort regardless of how careful the airline personnel might be. To receive compensation, please send us a detailed list of the items that you lost and complete the following questionnaire. You can e-mail it back to us.
c. Sorry it took us so long to get back to you. We were flooded with resumes. Anyway, your resume made the final 10, and after meeting three hours yesterday, we’ve decided we’d like to meet with you. What is your schedule like for next week? Can you come in for an interview on June 15 at 3:00 p.m.? Please get back to us by the end of this workweek and let us know if you will be able to attend. As you can imagine, this is our busy season.
d. We’re letting you know that because we use over a ton of paper a year and because so much of that paper goes into the wastebasket to become so much more environmental waste, starting Monday, we’re placing white plastic bins outside the elevators on every floor to recycle that paper and in the process, minimize pollution.
8.2 Revising Messages: Directness and Conciseness Rewrite the following sentences so that they are direct and concise. If necessary, break your answer into two sentences.
a. We wanted to invite you to our special 40% off by-invitation-only sale; the sale is taking place on November 9.
b. We wanted to let you know that we are giving a tote bag and a voucher for five iTunes downloads with every $50 donation you make to our radio station.
c. The director planned to go to the meeting that will be held on Monday at a little before 11 a.m.
d. In today’s meeting, we were happy to have the opportunity to welcome Paul Eccelson, who reviewed the shopping cart function on our website and offered some great advice; if you have any questions about these new forms, feel free to call him at his office.
8.3 Internet Visit the Workplace eCards section of the Blue Mountain site, at www.bluemountain.com, and analyze one of the electronic greeting cards bearing a goodwill message of appreciation for good performance. Under what circumstances would you send this electronic message? How could you personalize it for the recipient and the occasion? What would be an appropriate close for this message?
8.4 Teamwork With another student, identify the purpose and select the most appropriate medium for communicating the following written messages. Next, consider how the audience is likely to respond to each message. Based on this audience analysis, determine whether the direct or indirect approach would be effective for each message and explain your reasoning.
a. A notice to all employees about the placement of recycling bins by the elevator doors
b. The first late-payment notice to a good customer who usually pays his bills on time
8.5 Revising Messages: Conciseness, Courteousness, and Specificity Critique the following closing paragraphs. How would you rewrite each to be concise, courteous, and specific?
a. I need your response sometime soon so I can order the parts in time for your service appointment. Otherwise, your air-conditioning system may not be in tip-top condition for the start of the summer season.
b. Thank you in advance for sending me as much information as you can about your products. I look forward to receiving your package in the very near future.
c. To schedule an appointment with one of our knowledgeable mortgage specialists in your area, you can always call our hotline at 1-800-555-8765. This is also the number to call if you have more questions about mortgage rates, closing procedures, or any other aspect of the mortgage process. Remember, we’re here to make the home-buying experience as painless as possible.
Thill, Courtland L. Bovee and John V. Business Communication Today, 10/e for Ashford University, 10th Edition. Pearson Learning Solutions. VitalBook file.
The citation provided is a guideline. Please check each citation for accuracy before use.
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